What are some tips I can give someone with Social Anxiety?
smile4cobra asked:
My best friend has Social anxiety and its very hard on him and honestly people around him…Besides counseling because he refuses to go at this point in his life…What are some tips I can give him to make him understand that he is holding back from him life??
I mean…sure I can get bored for the couple of hours Im with him but than I go and have a life and he doesnt…I dont feel so great about that, everytime it comes time for me to leave.
I mean…he goes out and stuff but will never go out clubbing and places where there are young or “cool” people…like he likes to call them.
He thinks people are always staring at hm because he is worth less than others.
has be been on or is on any of these meds? .
That’s a tough situation for you and your friend. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty because he doesn’t want to participate. The best advice you could give him is for him to force himself into social situations. I too suffer from social anxiety and my psychologist says that the only way to get over this phobia is to put myself in the situation. Try taking him to some place with people, but not too many. Like the mall during school hours or something, when there’s people there, but it’s not overcrowded, and then build up from there. I also would say that he would probably benefit from some counselling. It’s not something to be ashamed of, there are millions of people that see psychologists everday, why do you think that it’s such a growing profession. If that doesn’t work then I don’t know what else to tell you or your friend, but I hope that he is able to get over his phobia soon, because life will pass him by, I had to learn this the hard way myself and regret not taking advantage of it earlier. Good luck.
i have anxiety and ocd which makes it really hard to deal with social situations sometimes.
what i do to make myself feel better when i go out places is:
1. daily i read a sticky note that i left on the mirror the night before, saying “you are beautiful” or “today is going to be a good day”. this is a real confidence booster.
2. i need the reassurance that i look ok before i leave the house. but if someone says”you look ok”-i dont feel good, i need to hear “you look great!” and that helps me to have the confidence i need to face other people.
its hard having an anxiety disorder. but with other people to support you and help you, it gets better. mostly i think your friend just needs a confidence boost and a few great experiences meeting other people to be able to get out there. it takes time, dont push too hard, but do encourage your friend to see people and hang out with people.
not telling you what to do. just my opinion. hope this helps.
counseling can be the best thing for him, i know it is scary because i was afraid to go at first, but it is the most helpful thing in the world. it gives you the courage to face your fears and makes the anxiety a lot less on your mind. please continue to encourage him to seek professional help. it is one of the best steps towards recovery.
Social situations are not all they are cracked up to be…
If you ask me… He will probably be a lot happier when he stops trying to conform himself to a situation that is not suited for his personality.
Some people like being alone or to remain in small personal groups rather than loud invasive places or with intrusive obnoxious people… and should be allowed to be, without the stigma and the negative input from others who disagree.
I have never had any kind of use for the kinds of people who want everyone to conform to their outlook… Nor do I enjoy myself in loud, obnoxious places or around debased personality types who revel in their self loathing and socially acceptable bad habits and practices… Like getting drunk.
I prefer a good book to a night out with loud, rude, obvious, ignorant, insensitive drinking, pack idiots that consider a good puke a good night… any day!
Maybe your friend is trying to be something he isn’t to make you like him?
To some people… Being alone is worse than sacrificing their sense of self just to be accepted by someone. and to others… No company in the world is worth compromising yourself to have the supposed privlidge of their company. Which is never really worth having in the end anyway all things considered…
Well your friend has much deeper problem and I’m afraid that you are not able to fix it just like that. Social Anxiety is something that person is aware of but can’t controll it, instead it controles the person. But my point is, that if he sais he feels like “people are always staring at him because he is worth less than others”, then with therapist he should seek for a reason when it all started. Usually it is many events but very offten one perticular that left a deep mark and created this bad vision of himself.
Don’t try to force him to do anything, just me “gentle” coz you might lose him (he can start avoiding you if he feels to much preassured).
I’m telling you all this coz my fiance has Social Anxiety and we’ve been through tick and tin with it….
However, he needs to do some social things….but graduatlly. One by one, to see that nothing bad happend and to get use to the situations. For that he has you and your support. Having somebody to lean on in those situations, somebody who knows what is his problem is a great thing! So make sure he knows he can always count on you.
And do it little by little…
Still even if you make a change (what will need A LOT of your patience), for complete recovery he needs to go on therapy. One thing is for sure - curing Social Anxiety takes time! You can’t want something for “yesterday”.
Tell him to learn breathing tehniques, do joga or whatever that could help him be more relaxed.
So he is very lucky to have you!
It’s not pleasent to have SA but it’s very nice to have friends who understand it
Give him this site, he might find it interesting. It has many facts and even a good forum for people who live with Social Anxiety…it might help him know that he is not the only one
And if you need to ask anything esle or if you want to say how your friend liked the site, feel free to write me an email:
All the best!
TIPS, no thanks