Ask her how she, and other women would like to be approached. What subjects to talk with women about, and what to avoid. Where to go. (Coffee involves little pressure, or committment, and you can often learn a lot in a short time about whether a relationship with that person is worth pursuing). Maybe a movie next time, or a meal. I’d go on these “dry runs” at least 2, or 3 times.

Expect many rejections; adopt De Angelo’s approach, though, and go out with the sole purpose of approaching at least a dozen women, and saying, “Hi, my name’s ?????, and I’m out tonight meeting new people, and I thought you looked interesting, and attractive. What should I call you?” Ask for her email address, and give her a notepad, and pen; have no expectations - just see what happens. Regard it as an opportunity to learn, and develop, or hone your social skills, not as a test you can fail. You may wish to have something to calm your nerves. Try having a cup of “Tension Tamer”, herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable).

C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. Herbal remedies, such as valerian, are often effective, but know how it affects you, first. Avoid overuse of alcohol: it is counterproductive. 1 - 2 drinks, at most! (not beer, because beer breath is a potential turnoff). There are many internet chatrooms where you can develop online skills, but these often don’t translate well in real life situations. Phone calls are a good next step. Then coffee. Speed dating is an option for later, once you have developed your skillset. If you aren’t sexually experienced, this can be a big hurdle, later on. One option is to get some experience with those who do it professionally, regard it as a form of therapy, perhaps, or just a bit of fun, but try to learn about how to satisfy a woman. and Y!A womens section, and books.

Always ask what they like, and what they don’t, and allow PLENTY of foreplay, allowing them let you know when they’re ready, or waiting for at least 15 minutes. Many women these days have certain minimal requirements of potential boyfriends, such as: 1) A place of his own. 2) Full time employment. 3) No drug problem. Having a car can help, in some places. Be cocky, and funny too, if possible. Don’t appear to be needy; it’s a turnoff, as is a lack of confidence (see section 38). Dress for the venue, or occasion, and consider having a makeover. Ask a number of people (not the girls you are trying to get to know, at least, not for some time) how they think you could look better; some should have a good suggestion, or two; most won’t, though.

LATER: Most women will quiz you on your previous relationship history, at some stage. If you’re not a TRULY EXCELLENT liar, (and very few people are) you could either say (1.) I don’t feel comfortable discussing that subject with you, right now; it involves too many painful memories; let’s talk about something else, at least until I know you a lot better, and feel that I can fully trust you with my emotions. OR: (2.) I’ve only just recently achieved a sufficient degree of control over my social anxiety that I’ve finally to be able to enter the dating scene, as such.